What I learned from networking with the ‘wrong’ people

Looking back, I’ve realised these encounters weren’t a waste of time. In fact, they taught me some of my most valuable lessons about how I want to spend my energy, and with whom. Here are a few of those gems.

1. Not everyone is your people

There was a time when I thought networking meant 'make friends with everyone in the room.' Spoiler: it doesn’t. The truth is, not everyone is meant for you, and you’re not meant for everyone. And that’s okay.

I used to beat myself up after events, wondering why I didn’t 'click' with certain people. Now, I take it as a sign. If the conversation feels forced, or I’m stuck smiling politely while someone explains blockchain for the 17th time, I’ve learned to gracefully excuse myself and move on. Networking is about finding connections that actually energise you, not draining your soul like a faulty iPhone battery.

2. The over-consumers

Ah yes, the people who believe 'networking' is just code for 'free bar'. I’ve sat through too many evenings watching others knock back drinks like it’s a competitive sport, while I’m quietly wondering how they’re going to function tomorrow.

These days, I respectfully step back from that crowd. Nothing good has ever come from trying to network with someone three glasses of wine past coherence. Instead, I come prepared. I drink water between any alcoholic drinks (a lifesaver for both my head and my dignity), and I’ve started keeping Myrkl in my bag for events where I know alcohol is going to make a prominent appearance. It’s not about being boring; it’s about making sure I can still have meaningful conversations and feel refreshed the next day.

3. Small talk Is a skill (and a shield)

Small talk used to terrify me. I’d either overcompensate and ramble or freeze completely, clutching my drink like a security blanket. What I didn’t realise is that small talk isn’t about the weather, it’s about testing the waters. It’s your shield before you dive deeper.

A few quick, light questions can tell you whether this person is someone you want to spend more time with. And if it turns out they’re not? You’ve only invested three minutes instead of thirty. That’s a win in my opinion.

4. Preparation is everything

In my early days, I’d show up at events with nothing but my outfit and a vague hope that networking magic would just happen. It never did.

Now I come armed: business cards (because raffles are real and losing out due to forgetfulness is tragic), a few conversation starters, and a mental note of who I might want to meet. And, as mentioned, if there’s a chance drinks will flow freely, Myrkl goes straight into the handbag next to the lip gloss. Networking is much easier when you’re not dealing with self-inflicted regrets.

5. Protect your energy

Perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learnt from mixing with the 'wrong' people is how important it is to protect my energy. I used to give far too much of myself away, trying to impress, trying to fit in, trying to keep up with the crowd.

Now, I know when to step outside for fresh air, when to politely bow out of a draining conversation, and when to just call it a night. Networking is important, yes, but so is your sanity.

Final thoughts

Networking with the 'wrong' people taught me exactly what the 'right' people look and feel like. They’re the ones who leave you energised instead of exhausted, and who remember you for more than the drink you ordered at the bar.

So if you ever find yourself at an event, stuck in a one-sided lecture about cryptocurrency, surrounded by over-consumers, or desperately searching for the bathroom as an excuse to escape, remember: you’re not alone. We’ve all been there, and it’s not wasted time. It’s training.

And next time, maybe just bring an extra bottle of water (and your Myrkl). Trust me, your future self will thank you.

Enjoyed this article? You might just like Building a real network (that actually works) while growing a business and How the office turned my winter binge into a career masterclass.

Important notes